A few months before Ryan Fillinger ('24) received his bachelor's degree in music composition from the College of Music, his work for wind band, Symphony No. 1 was brought to life by the UNT Wind Orchestra and Andrew Trachsel, professor of wind studies.

Fillinger spent years perfecting the piece since beginning the writing process in high school. The result is an over-30-minute long musical experience conveying years of slow-burning grief after his grandmother, Joyce, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease in 2015.

"I wanted to compose a piece that could encapsulate this continuous journey," Fillinger says. "A work that could serve as a reflection on her condition, a personal outpouring of emotion and an exclamation of faith and acceptance, all in one."

Hearing his music on the night of the premier was a cathartic reminder of the reason Fillinger moved away from his family in Oregon to attend UNT in fall of 2020 – to study the art of writing music to express himself, his thoughts and feelings in ways words can't.

Five years later, Fillinger is an award-winning composer halfway through his master's degree in music composition and wind conducting. He recently won the National Band Association Merrill Jones Composition Contest with his piece, Fight or Flight.

From starting freshman year far from home in the height of a global pandemic to today, it's safe to say he's making the most of his time in Texas.

One of a Kind

Leaving Oregon was difficult, but worth becoming one of very few music composition students in his top-ranked program. As part of such a competitive field where he didn't know anyone, Fillinger dealt with imposter syndrome and other emotions by converting them into writing inspiration.

"Composition is kind of an escapism for me," Fillinger says. "It's a nice distraction."

When graduation came around, Fillinger was one of five students left to complete the rigorous program. By senior year, he became close-knit with his classmates and professors like Sungi Hong, assistant professor of composition.

"One of the best teachers -- out of all my subjects, she comes out on top ," Fillinger says. "Everything she does, her kind-hearted nature is second to none."

Hong taught one of Fillinger's most difficult-yet-rewarding classes during undergrad in 2023, a project-based collaboration course featuring choreography students from Texas Woman's University paired with composition students at UNT.

Together, Fillinger and Raechel Corey, a graduate teaching student in dance at TWU, worked tirelessly on creating a routine to original music they titled Onus -- translating to "burden of proof" in Latin.

"There was a lot of movement with symbolism," Fillinger says. "Seeing it come together at the end so beautifully was a reward."

The course required Fillinger to step out of his comfort zone and made him think outside the box, something he's not afraid of doing. Continuing to challenge himself, he decided to pursue a master's degree in composition and wind conducting after graduating in 2024.

Writing and Winning

Fillinger has come a long way since taking an interest in composition in middle school after learning how to play the saxophone. When writing his award-winning composition Fight or Flight, he drew inspiration from a frequent bodily reaction.

"The fight-or-flight response is defined as a psychological response triggered when one is faced with a danger or threat," Fillinger says. "It's a natural reaction which releases hormones that prepare the body to either stay and confront -- or to flee."

Fillinger captures these emotions in his work.

"Fight or Flight opens with a bold theme played by French horns, alto saxophones, clarinets and muted trumpet," Fillinger says. "This theme grows more urgent as it evolves, adding piercing woodwind interjections and swelling auxiliary percussion as the music takes a frantic and exhilarating turn, segueing the listener into the second section: the 'flight' response."

Most of his writing is done using traditional 18th- through 20th-century styles, which Fillinger learned by studying orchestral masterworks by composers like Mahler, Stravinsky, and Brahms, along with film scores by composers like John Williams.

"Classical music speaks to me because of the expressive power it has," Fillinger says. "Hearing live instruments and live players -- the human nuance of a live performance is something I love."

Recently, Fillinger saw another of his award-winning compositions come to life.

In April, his Sinfonietta -- which won the 2023 Austin Symphonic Band Young Composers Contest -- premiered in Austin with conductor Kyle Glaser and the Austin Symphonic Band.

Next year, after his master's is finished, Fillinger plans to continue writing and eventually hopes to earn his doctorate and become a professor like Hong.

"Teaching people to find their creative voice as a composer is something I developed a love and passion for," Fillinger says. "I don't see myself doing anything else other than writing music."